Mar 26 2009
The Power of the Cliche
Cliches surround us in all aspects of our lives. In fact, I’ll bet you that you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a cliche from where you are right now. It’s interesting that many cliches are just part of our everyday language and yet we have very little idea who originally came up with them in the first place. Some cliches are so old that not only do we not know who first said it, but the true origins of them are actually argued. Who argues about these sorts of things? Assholes, mainly. But, I digress.
In an effort to ingrain myself into the fabric of our societal quilt, I will throw out a few original cliches and see how they stick. If you like one and want to use it, leave a comment to let me know how it was received and if it has caught on in your part of the world.
Disclaimer: Side effects of the following expressions may include severe pummelling, smothering or anal leakage.
1. I’m as happy a priest at a scout jamboree.
Meaning: I’m really, really happy.
2. This is taking longer than an easter egg hunt in an Alzheimer’s ward.
Meaning: This might never end. Ever.
3. You’re such an idiot that I want to rip out my eyeballs and stuff them into my ears so that I will never have to look at you or listen to you again.
Meaning: Self mutilation is a much more pleasant option than dealing with you a moment longer.
4. He’s a few bodies short of a Bundy.
Meaning: I have no idea what this one means. You tell me.
5. She’s so nice, she’d hardly ever anally rape you with a sandpaper covered axe.
Meaning: She’s not very nice.
6. You’re as dedicated as OJ was to finding the real killer.
Meaning: You’re one lazy, lying sack of crap.
I love it! Ann Coulter right where she belongs, next to OJ Simpson!
http://obamacomics.today.com
Oops, make that right where she belongs, sandwiched between OJ and Ted Bundy. If it was the 3 stooges of sociopaths, OJ would be Curly, Bundy would be Moe and Coulter would be Larry.