Mar 12 2009
Restarting The Lost Career of Corey Hart
Drawing on inspiration from my fellow blogger, The Rog (http://therog.wordpress.com) I’ve decided to help out 80’s Canadian rock sensation Corey Hart by providing him with some other song titles to work with to help reproduce the smash hit “Sunglasses at Night”. Back in the day, Corey Hart showed how cool he was by using an item at the most impractical time thereby rendering it as useless as humanly possible. Ballsy.
That being said, here are some suggestions to help Mr. Hart reclaim his rightful place amongst Canadian rock royalty.
1) I Wear My Sunscreen Indoors - This is the most natural follow up to “sunglasses as night” as it continues with the theme of having no clue what to do with items meant to protect you from the dangers of the sun.
2) I Eat All My Meals in The Morning to Save Time - Someone who wears sunglasses at night is clearly a busy, busy man. If you can get all of your needed caloric intake consumed by 9 am, think of how much more productive you can be during the day.
3) I Try to Put Out Fires With Dry Kindling and Oily Rags - Makes sense to me!
4) I Shave With the Handle of My Razor - You could even use the same music from Sunglasses at Night and save so much time with this surefire hit.
5) I Sleep in My Bathtub and Wash Up in My Bed - The only thing ballsier about a song about how you don’t know the proper use of one item is a song about how you don’t know how to use two. Am I right?
