Dec 17 2008
Top Ten Advantages Canada Has Over The U.S.
Don’t worry, I also recognize that there are advantages the United States has over Canada and I will be addressing those in tomorrows write up.
10 - Our beer
Let’s be honest here, this one isn’t even close. Who can forget the classic Monty Python question “How is American beer like making love in a canoe?”
9 - We got rid of Celine and you took her in
Self explanatory.
8 - Geography tests are much easier
10 provinces, 3 territories. That’s it. I still don’t understand what D.C. is really, let alone how Puerto Rico, American Samoa and other places fit in the whole “Made in the U.S.A.” scheme.
7 - We’re bigger
Not population wise, but in terms of sheer landmass. We’re huge. Sorry. We also have the bigger falls at Niagara. Just sayin’…
6 - Hockey
Sure, you kick our ass at baseball, soccer, football, basketball, NASCAR, golf, most Olympic sports and even professional poker. But man, are we good at hockey.
5 - Health care
At least that’s what Michael Moore tells me. He’s 100 percent honest and on the up and up, right? Seriously though, our health care is pretty darn good. For now.
4 - Self deprecation
No matter what other people/countries say about us, you can guarantee that we said it first. Toque wearing, maple syrup drinking, moose loving sissies, you say? That’s us!
3 - One of our Prime Ministers throttled a heckler
While I wasn’t necessarily a big fan of his, I never get tired of the picture.
2 - Insulin
Yup, we discovered it and it is officially ranked as Canada’s greatest invention ever. There is a quick decline as we go down the list though, as for some reason five pin bowling ranks number four and the wonderbra number five. You can’t make this stuff up folks.
1 - Elbow room
8.3 people per square mile versus 80 people per square mile. Sadly, our lawns are a bitch to mow, and going next door to borrow a cup of sugar may require an overnight journey.
How did the mounties not make it somewhere on this list?
Enjoyed today’s post!
The mounties were disqualified for selling their likeness and image to Disney several years back. Sad, but true.
Sorry but we have Hocky in the U.S. too. Go Sharks! Loved your post and wish I had only a few people living within a square mile of me.
According to todays roster on the Sharks official homepage;
25 players
12 Canadians
5 Americans
3 Czechs
2 Germans
1 Swede
1 Kazak
1 Russian
No wonder the Sharks are doing so well
Great lists - and even better retorts in the comments!