Nov 16 2008
Identify Your Political Affiliation
The “undecided” vote often translates into the “absent” vote, so with that in mind, I’ve created a questionnaire to help you sort through the platforms of each party in a quick and efficient manner. Just take a few minutes, answer the questions and tally your answers to see which letters turn up the most frequently. Voila! Instant affiliation!
1. Which of the following colours do you like best?
A) Red
B) Blue
C) Orange
D) Green
E) What’s in it for Quebec if I answer this question?
2. Which of the following attributes to you look for in a leader most?
A) Awkwardness and a shaky command of either official language.
B) Unnatural looking smile and a vast collection of sweaters.
C) A moustache. Seriously.
D) Intelligence, and a love of losing.
E) What’s in it for Quebec if I answer this question?
3. Choose the word that best describes your dedication to the environment.
A) Shifty
B) Bwahahahahahahaha!
C) Rabid-ish
D) Rabid-er
E) Quebec?
4. Choose the answer that best describes your attitude to youth crime.
A) I’ve been so focussed on the Green Shift, I’ve forgotten to have opinions on other things.
B) Get off my lawn, you damn kids!
C) Young offenders should work off their debt to society.
D) Young offenders should work off their debt to society by planting trees.
E) What’s in it for Quebec if I answer this question?
5. In the past you have used the following to show the flaws of an opponent or competitor.
A) An online encyclopedia detailing all of their past misdeeds. People love reading hundreds of pages!
B) I put a picture of them online and had a CGI bird poop on them.
C) I used cartoons, but mainly focussed attention on my fabulous moustache.
D) I have never been able to afford any meaningful way to strike back at opponents.
E) What’s in it for Quebec if I answer this question?
6. Your favorite part of the country is…
A) Parts of Ontario. Oh, and thanks to Danny Williams, I guess Newfoundland.
B) The West. Especially Alberta. Except for that one spot….
C) Tiny little pockets in each province. But no province a whole lot…
D) The train.
E) Quebec
7. When it comes to the media, I feel that they should be treated…
A) with caution
B) with contempt
C) to a singalong while I play the acoustic guitar.
D) for motion sickness associated with train travel.
E) What’s in it for Quebec if I answer this question?
8. Your thoughts on gun control are
A) If you have a gun, the government should know.
B) You should probably have a gun.
C) There’s nothing a gun can solve that a moustache can’t.
D) Guns should be dismantled and turned into environmentally friendly….uh….things.
E) What’s in it for Quebec if I answer this question?
9. Canada could do with less
A) political parties
B) Danny Williams
C) fear of moustaches.
D) pollution.
E) Quebec
10. Children
A) are likely to beat me in sporting competitions.
B) can take care of themselves once they turn 6.
C) are our future. At least, I hope so…
D) are our future. Providing we don’t destroy the planet prior to that future.
E) are our future. At least, those that live in Quebec are.
Answer Key:
Mostly A’s - Liberal
Mostly B’s - Conservative Party
Mostly C’s - New Democratic Party
Mostly D’s - Green Party
Mostly E’s - Bloc Quebecois
There’s an album by Ween called Quebec, so that may have skewed some of my answers…
Good stuff.
Thanks! I’m working on a similar questionnaire to help Canadians sort out U.S. parties as well.
I have 7 A’s….Liberal, shocker